Logic and Sex

Can a person approach sex purely logically? That is what those who reject most sexual ethics claim to be doing. Are they really? Freud warned of the dangers of repressing sexual desire. Even in scripture St Paul warns virgins it is better to marry than to burn with passion. But is sexual repression really the biggest problem in today's world? Should we be so scared of being repressed that we get rid of all the rules? Is that logically the smart thing to do? Just do whatever our hormones push us to do? It can't be wrong if it feels right?

If that is true then logically you would expect that the people who live that way would be the happiest people out there. We have a pretty good sample size. In today's world there a lot of people who have lived that lifestyle or something very close to it for a time. Did that lead to happiness? Not exactly. People go a lot of directions from there. Some go into more deviant sexual behavior. Some find someone they want to marry and discover they are not prepared for a monogamous relationship. Some stop having sex for a while and reflect on what it all means. Some try and stop and discover they can't. The end up addicted to sex or porn. The stories go a lot of different directions but nobody seems to get to the top of this mountain and finds a lasting peace and joy. They all move on.

Of course those are just the survivors. There are also many who got hurt on the way to the top of that mountain. The ones who were scared by abuse and betrayal. The ones that suffer from post-abortion trauma. People who never fully embraced the promiscuous life but dabbled in it long enough to get deeply wounded.

So what is the logical thing to do with this data? If you know this field has many land mines. You know the powers of reasoning that you normally count on can be badly influenced by your hormones. You don't trust traditional sexual morality. So what is the most prudent thing to do? If the person involved is not you but your son or daughter then it becomes easier to see. The smart thing is to err on the side of safety. Go slow. Try and find a trustworthy path and stick to it.

Somehow that is not what is done in the name of logic and reason. People just assert that if they can't see a land mine then the logical thing to do is to assume there is none there. Even if the land mines in question are not expected to be visible. Even if there are people warning you this field is full of land mines.

I can understand when young people are impetuous when it comes to sex. They experience love for the first time and they are sure it is the greatest love the world has ever known. In some ways it is. What I don't understand is the idea that just following your desires into pornography and promiscuity is somehow logical.  That dismissing the wisdom of many generations of human experience is somehow smart. That doing what everyone else seems to be doing without asking whether you want the result everyone else is getting is somehow reasonable.

There was a time when we recognized a lack of sexual self control as contrary to reason. Now we just declare it to be smart. Never mind how many abortions, how many divorces, how many rapes, how much depression, etc. It can't be stupid because it is common. So it becomes the wisdom of the age. What you follow if you want to have a life like your peers. Completely unremarkable. No guarantees of happy life but you are much more likely to have a boring one. The irony is that using sex to fight boredom is one of the major errors of our times. Not only do we not get what sex is meant to point us to but we end up bored anyway.