Something is Rotten

There is a ton of reaction to this article on how many young men are failing to mature. Mark Shea and Jennifer Fulwiler both made posts on it although I think Jennifer took hers down for some reason. The comments make it quite obvious that something has gone very wrong with the relationship between man and women in modern society. Secular people don't seem to know where it comes from, how serious the problem is or what to do to fix it.

The short answer is that the new permissive sexual morality isn't working. Men and women engage in intimate relations and then break up. There is a denial of the pain and betrayal that results from that. People view it as a normal part of life. It isn't. They have abused and been abused in a most evil manner. At some level they know it. This is why promiscuity leads to a very low opinion of the opposite sex. That was very much on display in the comment section of this article. People have been hurt. Not by one relationship but by a string of relationships where they feel used and betrayed by the opposite sex. So they start to think the problem is all men or all women. They are all just self-centered, uncaring, despicable creatures. Sure they are. But we tend to ignore our own responsibility. People degraded their own bodies and those of their partners just as much as but blaming other people is easier.

Men want to win the hand of a fair maiden. It is a huge motivator. They will work for years to impress a beautiful virgin in hopes she will give him her favors and forsake all others. But these days they are not asked to do much of anything. Sex is considered no big deal. So the whole dynamic does not materialize. Women are not impressed because they don't demand men impress them. Men are not impressed because women give themselves away so cheap.

So men have to find motivation from somewhere else. It is not happening. Part of it is because they have lost sight of their own dignity. Sexual sin degrades the human body and that damages your view of the entire human person. Secular culture is great at affirming mediocrity. It is not so good at calling people to greatness. So people settle for being mediocre. This is likely to be highly destructive to human society. A large number of its members lack motivation and are failing to achieve what they are capable of. People talk about this phenomenon like it is interesting. They don't seem to understand that western civilization could fall and that this could be a major reason why.

The other way this can destroy civilization is because of the other thing nobody seems motivated to do. That is to raise a family. Men and women have always struggled to arrive at strong marriages but the ones that got there would make up for it by having a large number of children and raising them well. That is not happening either. We have fewer children and the majority don't make it to their 18th birthday still living with their biological mother and father. Again society is weakened greatly by both the lack of quantity and lack of quality in child rearing. People don't get that. Nothing catastrophic has happened since WWII so we don't really understand peace and prosperity and not guaranteed. That solid choices and hard work are required.