A while back I read this post suggesting God is ignorable. Jennifer id on to something but I think it is not quite that simple. The trouble is we can't ignore God forever. Eventually the question of God comes back. So in some ways He is the only one who isn't ignorable. But God never forces us to encounter Him either. He always invites but never compels. So he is ignorable in the sense that we always have a rational out. If we want to say No we can.
But then there are the times we try and get close to Him. That is always a struggle. Adoration is amazing that way. Both rewarding and frustrating. As a protestant you get worked up with powerful music and eloquent speakers. I could feel close to God pretty easily. But was I really close? It could have been human stimulation. Adoration is just silence. A whole hour of silence. You experience God more deeply but you desire more.
I guess that is a big difference. With the charismatic worship experience you never really feel inadequate. The adrenalin is flowing and you feel like you are on top of the world. Long term you feel like there must be more to Christianity than feeling that high over and over. But on the night it is satisfying.
Adoration often has me hungrier for God when I leave then I was when I came. Why is it so hard? Ignorable? Sure. I know by faith that He is there but only by faith. There is something in me that thinks God should give me more proof. But faith is not just for the neophytes. Faith is not strengthened by eliminating the need for faith. It is like lifting weights. We get stronger by making the bar heavier. So the more we desire God the more He become ignorable? Sometimes. I'm glad it isn't always.
Deep down inside I think God owes me something because I do a few devotions. Like God should be impressed because I showed up for adoration and give me some kind of vision. Instead He gives me the gift of being able to believe having not seen a vision. We walk by faith and not by sight. That is not a sad second choice. Faith is God's way because it is the best way. It gives us the dignity of choosing Him.
Then there is the idea of seeing God with the eyes of faith. When you know God has done great things in a certain situation but you also know someone without faith would not see it at all. Pope Benedict once said every theist is often uncomfortably on the edge of atheism and every atheist is often uncomfortably on the edge of theism. That we are always looking for something to close the deal. Something to keep our minds from ever going there. God just does not give that to us. Even if we get a vision we can question whether we made it up.
What keeps us from going over that edge? Love. Faith grows into hope and then into love.
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