Saw
the movie Boyhood. I know it is old but I can't be bothered to see
the latest movies. The movie was very good in that it draws you in
and makes you care about the characters. It is not good in what they
do with it once they have your interest. There is a searching and a
longing for something truly meaningful in life. None of the
characters actually finds anything. That is kind of the point they
are trying to make but it is quite an unsatisfying point.
One
thing that did capture my They came dangerously close to making some
points just by accident. One episode had me thinking. Mason has sex
with his girlfriend, Mindy, and ends up regretting it. He thinks sex
is a big deal to her. That she only agrees to it because she has
strong feelings for him. Then she sleeps with another guy without
knowing him very long. She has no remorse about it. It just blows his
mind. What he thought was a deep sexual connection with a fascinating
woman turned out to be a very cheap and confusing encounter with
someone he didn't know that well after all.
The
question becomes how to avoid this kind of thing in the future. His
father tells him you can't avoid it. You just get drunk and move on.
Typical of the advice kids get in this movie. Yet what if he serious
wanted to avoid it? What if he wanted to make sure his partner was
not being casual about sex? The thing is it seemed like Mason and
Mindy were both virgins. The movie does not explicitly say so but you
get the idea they are going slow because neither is that comfortable
with sex.
The
point is that just asking if your prospective partner is a virgin is
not enough. What you really need to know is what their philosophy of
sex is going to be in the future. After the inhibitions wear off what
are you going to want to do? How can anyone possible know that? If
your sexual morality depends on how you feel about something today
then you can't. But what if it doesn't? If your morality comes from
God and you can't change it just because some college jock swept you
off your feet then you can know that.
Remember
it was not so much about what she did but about how she viewed her
actions. Casual sex was now fine and therefore all her sex became
casual. It was not a matter of making a mistake but a matter of
changing the meaning of sex. Making sex mean what we want it to mean
sounds appealing at first but it creates a confusing world where our
most intimate relationships can be redefined at any time. Mason knew
intuitively that he didn't want that. Yet he didn't know how to avoid
it. It is something just not available outside of Christian
communities.
Mason
knew this because his mother has made a mess of her love life. She
went from one bad relationship to the next looking for financial
security for her children but sacrificing every other type of
security. She does have a moment of wisdom late in the movie. She
talks about being celibate and in the next breath she turns around
and talks about being a whore. She realizes she has really been
giving sex and getting money. She had a lot of relationships with men
who were good providers but not good husbands or fathers. She wonders
if that was a mistake. If she just remained celibate she would have
been poor but she would have more self-respect. Maybe that would have
been better for her children.
Mason
always wanted his mom and dad to get back together. So the movie has
an unspoken undertone that divorce is bad. So you married a jerk. So
he yells too much and drinks too much. The next guy is unlikely to be
much better for you and very unlikely to be better for you kids.
People mature. Give it a chance. The Catholic idea that she could
kick him out but neither part should pursue another romance would
have worked well. They may or may not have gotten back together.
They certainly would have been spared a lot of heartache.
It is
the strange thing about Catholicism. You can't avoid it. This movie
seems like it is trying to be nihilistic. Yet it is fairly easy to
pick out some Catholic themes. I know people will say I am imagining
them but I don't think so. Some of the most ridiculed ideas in
Catholicism get argued for quite strongly. Strongly mostly because
you know they are not preaching this. If a Catholic made a movie with
such themes you would just say they are imagining these characters
having these feelings and saying these things. Yet when a secular
person comes out with it you feel like it confirms Catholicism fits
with the truth about humanity.
