50 Reasons Why Contraception Is Bad
- It prevents you from glimpsing the beatific vision in your sex life. That is what sex was meant to be. A foretaste of heaven. It can't be that if you distort it.
- It makes Christian sexual morality incoherent. Why wait until marriage if sex is not about children anyway? Experience has shown that it takes time but eventually premarital sex becomes the norm. It is even happening among evangelicals.
- It can make you marry the wrong person. Dating becomes more about who would I like to have sex with rather than who would I want as a life partner. So you make bad choices.
- It reduces marriage from a commitment to spend your life populating the world with people like your fiancee to simply committing to live with that person.
- It opens the door to gay marriage because marriage is no longer about children.
- It changes our thinking about sex from being primarily about children to being primarily about orgasm exchange. This changes sex from a loving act to a selfish act.
- It confuses the meaning of sex. We can think of it as a casual thing. It can never really be casual but without the openness to life we are tempted to treat it that way.
- Safe sex is boring. Sex becomes truncated. It becomes finite. It can no longer satisfy our deepest desire.
- It causes us to lose respect for human life. If we are free to manipulate the act that creates life then how can that life be sacred? The ordinary does not produce the sacred
- It causes us to lose respect for sex. We don't fiddle with sacred things.
- It causes us to lose respect for all holy things. What has happened to liturgy since contraception? Certainly in the protestant world traditional liturgy has all but disappeared after being pretty much unchanged for many generations. We have lost out inhibitions about messing with the holy. There is a parallel between the altar and the womb. If we lose respect for one we will lose respect for the other.
- Similarly respecting nature in family life can cause us to respect natural law be not destroying the environment.
- Then there is the huge quantity of hormones that end up in the environment. That an cause all sorts of reproductive issues with animals and people
- It causes health problems in women. Too many to mention. The ones documented on the insert that comes with the pill are weight gain, irritability, loss of sex drive, and depression. Not exactly what I want for my wife.
- It increases the temptation for adultery.
- It makes it harder for women to say No to sex. With premarital and extramarital sex the woman often would use potential pregnancy as an excuse. Now she has to say it is wrong or she does not want to. Both of those might be harder for her to defend.
- It messes with the natural hormonal balance of male/female interactions. Men lose interest in women. Women lose interest in sex.
- It disconnects men from their masculinity and women from their femininity. We lose track of who we are.
- It creates a situation where the most educated reproduce less. Kind of the opposite of the survuval of the fittest.
- The least able to successfully use it are often the least able to parent as well. So the most children go to the worst parents.
- It causes parents to see children as something to enrich their own life rather than a gift from God to bless the world.
- It puts pressure on kids to live up to the parents dreams because there are often no siblings who can.
- It creates very few large families. They are the ones that will be kid-focused but not overly focused on one child. Families with one or two children tend towards ignoring the kids or letting the kids run the family.
- It deprives people and societies of hope. The average age of societies tend to go way up. There are few youth to provide optimism and enthusiasm.
- It causes communities to die off in the long term. People groups that embrace contraception don't produce enough children to replace their existing population. It is a societal form of suicide.
- It forces huge immigration and all the problems that can come with that.Europe is a good example. Low birth rates have caused Europe to embrace Muslim immigrants. They don't make good Europeans but if Europeans aren't making enough Europeans what are they going to do?
- It produces an abortion mindset. That is that children are something I should only accept when I want to.
- It has hugely increased the abortion rate. It is still talked about as a solution to abortion but it has the opposite effect
- Same goes for STD's. It sends a message that chastity is impossible.
- Sends a message of unlove to your children. I don't want more like you.
- It prevents you from totally embracing the Catholic church. This is
true of both protestants and Catholics. When they consider becoming
a serious committed Catholics contraception is a huge barrier.
- Even if you don't want to accept the Catholic church it is still something all Christians saw as gravely evil for a long time. If you want to appeal to tradition to say Christians can be sure abortion or gay marriage is wrong then you have to say contraception is wrong just to be consistent.
- It sets a bad precedent of disobeying God for the sake of some physical pleasure.
- It creates the impression that denying your sexual desires is unreasonable or even impossible. This leads to pornography, all the forms of sexual abuse and many consensual forms of sexual perversion
- The call to accept more children in your family is hard but it comes with amazing blessings. God leads you to a place of great joy that you would never have chosen for yourself.
- More children increases the impact of your life on future generations.
- More needs increases you reliance on God. That ends up being a good thing because He does provide.
- You get attention when you live in an obvious counter-cultural way. That can attract people to the faith when you live it with joy.
- Religious life is hard and rewarding. It makes a lot more sense when married life is hard and rewarding.
- You can talk much more credibly to your kids and other singles about sexual self control when they know you have to deny yourself within marriage
- Spiritual fruitfulness comes from being open to physical fruitfulness. So a non-contracepting couple will bless the world in other ways even if they don't have a lot of kids.
- It prevents you from having to discuss fertility with your spouse.
- It allows sex to become routine and expected. It can lead to bad sex and eventually to no sex.
- NFP couples end up with more sex and better sex
- NFP couples almost never get divorced
- You end up with more grand-kids. Don't have those yet but I hear they are great.
- You have a much greater chance of one of you children or grandchildren becoming a priests or nun
- Your children get to have lots of siblings. Nothing can teach people skills like living with people who know how to annoy you and often do it just for pleasure.
- Kids are just amazingly beautiful. They are a source of so much grace and joy.
- To me the bottom line is integrity. Integrity in my relationship with God, with my wife, with the church, with society, and with my family.
Are you going to provide citations to uphold these facts?
ReplyDeleteBTW, #14 sure says a lot about you. Are you not concerned with the risk of heart attack, stroke, or, um, death of your wife with birth control pills? Or are you strictly worried about the effect the pill has on your sex life?
have you read the statistics behind the pill? there are more deaths due to toaster ovens than deaths due to or resulting of a person taking the pill.
DeleteI was mentioned weight gain, irritability, loss of sex drive, and depression as health problems cause by the pill. None of those are life threatening but they are still something to think about. There are links with breast cancer and such that are less widely acknowledged. Therefore they would not make it into the stats. For this list I did not want to get into that debate.
DeleteHi Kristine, thanks for commenting.
ReplyDeleteIn general blogs are not research papers. Footnotes are not expected. If you disagree with anything I said then say so. We can discuss it.
About #14. I have read a ton about birth control pills and a bunch of health problems. I don't remember all the articles. Some can be questioned. So I stuck with the health problems the drug comes with warnings about. I was not saying the other do not matter. Just they are a lot more work to document convincingly. You are the one who wants citations.
Maybe I am a jerk for focusing on how "weight gain, irritability, loss of sex drive, and depression" would effect our relationship. My point is that if you are thinking birth control pills are the key to marital bliss then this might make you reconsider. Not having to worry about all the other dangers might be yet another point.
Thank you for making me laugh. This is pretty ridiculous.
ReplyDeleteI laughed too. I laughed HARD. I'm still in tears over here. Thanks for the humor.
DeleteYou can call anything ridiculous. I've been living it for the 18+ years I have been married. I do know other people find it crazy. That is why I have been watching and noticing all the ways God has been proven right. The wisdom of God is foolish to man.
ReplyDeleteI don't even know where to begin. I also would like to see citations on the "facts", and I use the term "facts" loosely. So many of these reasons you give to explain why contraception is not a good decision are outright lies. If you want to be against contraception, that is fine. At least have the decency to state actual facts that support your decision instead of making up data and calling it a fact. Only a few of your 50 reasons are actual honest and truthful reasons, and most of the ones that are not lies are only truthful because they are your personal opinion which cannot really be disputed. Do your research before you post faulty information. Doesn't it bother you at all that young men and women might read this, assuming that you're telling the truth? If you are truly a Catholic and base your beliefs and behaviors on biblical principles and the principles of the Catholic Church, you would refrain from lying.
ReplyDeleteI really am curious about 42... How does NFP mean that you don't have to discuss fertility? Isn't that the entire premise of NFP? And for that matter how is talking about fertility a bad thing?
ReplyDeleteAnd for 14 aren't most hormonal birth control symptoms just pregnancy-lite symptoms? Don't we have a wealth of cultural stereotypes about the crazy hormonal pregnant lady? And post-partum depression? Are we pretending that doesn't exist again? And isn't pregnancy a pretty effective way to gain weight and stop having sex? Am I missing something?
Another lie spreading, paranoia filled, pie in the sky, God will provide, sex shouldn't be fun (although women orgasm completely unrelated to baby making, turn your wife into a stressed out baby incubator, load of crap blog/article that has no basis in reality. I would have laughed but it was so horribly written based on Catholic beliefs and hear say...I could barely get through it.
ReplyDeleteBut then again- safe sex is boring sex according to the writer. Go on and believe what your strong armed religion tells you in order to get you to create more little catholic robots.
Pronatalists hands down have the worst arguments for this crap. This is a prime example.
#16 is utter rubbish. NO means NO.
ReplyDelete#23 Have you ever actually interacted with a small family? If this list is based on personal experiences, I have observed FAR more organized, calm, and closer families with just one or two children versus families with four or more. The larger families tended to have a child or two, typically a middle child, that felt overlooked by the parents.
#26 is just ignorant and bigoted.
#28 In the five years since low cost birth control was first offered in the country of Georgia, notorious for its abortion rate, said rate has dropped by almost half http://jezebel.com/5927703/abortion-capital-of-the-world-curiously-less-abort+y-after-women-go-on-the-pill
#42 Why WOULDN'T you talk about a man's fertility and a woman's fertility in a marriage? The ability to have children is something that needs to be discussed.
#43 Almost all relationships become sexually mundane after a long time. It's the natural course of the relationship. If you go down to little or no sex, there is an underlying problem, typically not sex, in the relationship that needs to be addressed. You can speak with almost any counselor or psychologist about that.
#45 This a pretty big assumption. What reference led you to that?
3. It can make you marry the wrong person. Dating becomes more about who would I like to have sex with rather than who would I want as a life partner. So you make bad choices.
ReplyDeleteMarrying someone that you mistaken got pregnant can also mean marrying the wrong person. If you want to say no sex till marriage that is different that saying Contraception is bad. There is just bad logic in 3.
5. It opens the door to gay marriage because marriage is no longer about children.
What they hell are you talking about? How does contraception lead to gay marriage? Are you saying gay couples should not have children? Not only do you seem ignorant but also homophobic.
8. Safe sex is boring. Sex becomes truncated. It becomes finite. It can no longer satisfy our deepest desire.
This is just laughable. That is all.
14. It causes health problems in women. Too many to mention. The ones documented on the insert that comes with the pill are weight gain, irritability, loss of sex drive, and depression. Not exactly what I want for my wife.
You need to do better research here. There are just as many documented that have the opposite. There are also women that BC helps regulate their bodies. So this one is just a fail.
15. It increases the temptation for adultery.
Please provide evidence. It may be true but I need proof.
16. It makes it harder for women to say No to sex. With premarital and extramarital sex the woman often would use potential pregnancy as an excuse. Now she has to say it is wrong or she does not want to. Both of those might be harder for her to defend.
As mentioned before NO means NO.
This one broke me and I cannot continue to read.
Jeni,
ReplyDeleteIf you are not sure where to begin I would suggest beginning by calling a person a liar is a poor choice. If you think things are not true then say so and say why. It is charitable to assume any errors are honest mistakes rather than lies. It also allows productive discussion to take place rather than simple name calling.
I can call you a liar right back. I won't do that but you need to understand that the ad hominem is like that. We are all people and we are all vulnerable to attacks on our person. If you live by that sword you can just as easily die by it.
In #42, the "it" was meant to refer to contraception. Sorry if that was confusing. The claim is that couples using artificial contraception can go a long time without even bringing up the topic of fertility. I think that is unhealthy. It is a lack of intimacy.
ReplyDeleteAs for #14, some of the symptoms are pregnancy-lite things. But a woman has to stay "pregnant" for years and have no child to show for it.
If marriage is about having children then why do we allow infertile people to get married? Funny, I don't see a strong christian opposition to infertile people "changing the biblical definition of marriage," like we do with same-sex couples wanting marriage euality. Also why don't the vows typically mention having children if this is what marriage is about? How are infertile couples different from same-sex couples in this instance?
ReplyDeleteAli,
ReplyDelete#16 is utter rubbish. NO means NO.
Think about a woman who is dating a guy. He wants to have sex. She does not but she wants to keep dating. They are not going to stop at No means No. They are going to discuss reasons. What reasons can she give? She can say, "I think what you are asking me to do is morally wrong." If she is really firmly grounded in her moral beliefs and does not mind defending them then she might go there. Most modern women (and men) are not. She risks being labeled as judgmental. She risks offending her boyfriend. Lots of hazards there.
The other place she could go is the lack of desire. Part of me want to make love and another part does not. That is almost saying, "You are just not sexy enough for me." She does not want to say that. So again it is hard to defend.
Just saying I won't have sex unless we are ready to accept a pregnancy avoids both the problems. You don't have the question motives. You can affirm he is totally sexy. Are you ready to raise a child with me? No. Let me know when you are.
#23 Have you ever actually interacted with a small family? If this list is based on personal experiences, I have observed FAR more organized, calm, and closer families with just one or two children versus families with four or more. The larger families tended to have a child or two, typically a middle child, that felt overlooked by the parents.
ReplyDeleteThis is based on observations of many families. Remember small families are not wrong. It is just when they become the rule rather than the exception then strange ideas can become the norm. Are there good small families? Sure. But they all deal with the twin temptations. To focus on the child and spoil him or her or to focus on other things and neglect the child.
A large family is easier. You cannot let a child run the family. If you have a lot of kids it is just not an option. So you don't spoil the kids. You also cannot neglect a large family. You can't just leave them here and there and let others mind them like you can with one child. So some temptations towards bad parenting are absent in the case of a large family. But not every family has these problems to the same degree.
I would even say the dynamic or the "married single" is real. That is married men with small families acting like they are single. Going out a lot with the boys. Working long hours. Again these things can happen with larger families but it is less likely. Just the practical challenges of raising a bunch of kids prevent it.
#26 is just ignorant and bigoted.
ReplyDeleteI get your point. I am not saying we should hate people from other cultures. I am saying we should love our own culture. Love it enough to want it to continue in future generations. Then I think xenophobia will decrease. If Muslim culture was being added to European culture then it could easily be seen as a cause to celebrate. But if it is replacing European culture then it is more likely to be resented. So I don't blame Muslims for reproducing. That is normal human behavior. I blame the Europeans for failing to do so.
Your true and only reason it that you believe in God and you believe God thinks contraceptives are wrong, so do you. All of your 50 reasons can be deducted to that. It's OK, you can have your opinion. It's great your wife shares your opinion so you can have a harmonious relationship (I assume she truly does and not just complies with your beliefs).
ReplyDeleteBut don't blame the pill for all the wrong in the world because it is not. And a lot of what is wrong in your eyes is perfectly fine for others (like gay marriage, cause this is just a civil union or contract like civil marriage is, it has nothing to do with the sacrament that happens to carry the same name).
Many of your arguments are mere wishful thinking or living a myth. Specially the ones like "kids are always blessing, so are grandchildren" etc. - actually, they can be a real pain in the a**, pretty often. And if you have so many of them, you are not capable of having enough quality time with them, so you end up neglecting your children, or just paying attention with the more troubled one(s) and leaving the others with the feeling they're not loved enough.
And - I speak here as a European - many European are Muslim and it's nothing wrong. Many European nations are traditionally Muslim, like Bosniaks, Albanians or Turks, and it did not stopped them from being good people and part of the pan-European 'family'. And there is also nothing wring with immigration, as long as the integration policies work well. After all, USA is a country build by immigrants, isn't it?
And, funny enough, your argument is invalid if you dismiss the God-hypothesis. And it's actually a reverse thing. See #47 - that's actually a reason for a non-Christian to WANT TO use contraceptives!
#28 In the five years since low cost birth control was first offered in the country of Georgia, notorious for its abortion rate, said rate has dropped by almost half http://jezebel.com/5927703/abortion-capital-of-the-world-curiously-less-abort+y-after-women-go-on-the-pill
ReplyDeleteThat is interesting. I would not assume the drop could not be do to economic factors. I do think that longer term the rate is likely to go up again. The degradation in behavior does take time.
It seems they had a strange cultural situation where birth control was actually less of a moral issue than abortion. So abortion became the preferred method of birth control. Weird. For most the immorality of abortion is more intuitive than that of contraception.
#42 Why WOULDN'T you talk about a man's fertility and a woman's fertility in a marriage? The ability to have children is something that needs to be discussed.
Same misunderstanding as before. Talking about it is good. NFP couples are forced to every month. Couples using artifical contraceptives are not.
#43 Almost all relationships become sexually mundane after a long time. It's the natural course of the relationship. If you go down to little or no sex, there is an underlying problem, typically not sex, in the relationship that needs to be addressed. You can speak with almost any counselor or psychologist about that.
Actually it isn't normal at all. It is a sign that your romance has remained physical and not become spiritual. Spiritual sex can never grow old. Physical sex just leaves us cold. We want the spiritual and it isn't happening. That comes from manipulating the physical. You are not interacting with you full manhood and full womanhood.
#45 This a pretty big assumption. What reference led you to that?
This is a quote from Janel Smith. Try here
http://www.ad2000.com.au/articles/1993/nov1993p7_813.html
3. It can make you marry the wrong person. Dating becomes more about who would I like to have sex with rather than who would I want as a life partner. So you make bad choices.
ReplyDeleteMarrying someone that you mistaken got pregnant can also mean marrying the wrong person. If you want to say no sex till marriage that is different that saying Contraception is bad. There is just bad logic in 3.
Sure. Contraception in marriage leads to premarital sex. That, in turn, leads to many problems trying to establish a good marriage. Before contraception there were shotgun weddings. But it was different. Couples who got pregnant had typically been dating for a while. Marriage was not an unreasonable option in those cases. Now we have pregnancies where couples hardly know each other. To marry in those cases just because you have conceived a child is a bad idea.
I could probably do another post on 50 reasons why premarital sex is bad. The point is contraception takes most couples there and so you get all of that as well.
5. It opens the door to gay marriage because marriage is no longer about children.
ReplyDeleteWhat they hell are you talking about? How does contraception lead to gay marriage? Are you saying gay couples should not have children? Not only do you seem ignorant but also homophobic.
I know it sounds strange to modern ears. Marriage is about children. Not, first of all, adopting children. It is about conceiving and bearing children. Contraception contradicts that. It says what really matters is the sexual pleasure. If that is true then gay marriage is as legit as normal marriage because gay couples can have sexual pleasure. So changing the definition of marriage really came with the acceptance marriages that are closed to children. Once we went there gay marriage became logical.
It is not a matter of being ignorant or homophobic. It is a matter of respecting our own biology. We just need to do it consistently.
8. Safe sex is boring. Sex becomes truncated. It becomes finite. It can no longer satisfy our deepest desire.
ReplyDeleteThis is just laughable. That is all.
Actually I expect people to laugh at it. But think about it. Do you want your romantic adventures to be safe? I guess they would not be adventures then. Maybe we could call them romantic transactions.
Sex is by nature meant to be a reckless act of love. Ignoring all the boundaries and just throwing yourself at another person. Worrying about protection means you are really bad at sex. That you think of sex in a cold, mechanical way.
14. It causes health problems in women. Too many to mention. The ones documented on the insert that comes with the pill are weight gain, irritability, loss of sex drive, and depression. Not exactly what I want for my wife.
You need to do better research here. There are just as many documented that have the opposite. There are also women that BC helps regulate their bodies. So this one is just a fail.
There are some problems BC solves. It is actually moral to use BC for that reason. But that is a minority of women. More are either healthy or they have problem that BC makes worse.
15. It increases the temptation for adultery.
Please provide evidence. It may be true but I need proof.
Not sure what there is to doubt. Mr Smith sees Mrs Jones and they want to have sex. If they both know Mrs Jones might get pregnant then they are less likely to act on it. Nobody wants to raise a child that looks like some other man in your life and not like your husband. Eventually you are going to have to tell the child the truth. A bit awkward.
With contraception none of that enters anyone's mind. Every woman is assumed to be sexually available all the time. So when opportunities arise they are a lot more likely to be acted on.
What a load. And the comments degenerate into Randy talking to himself. Stop spreading such crap.
ReplyDeleteTodd,
ReplyDeleteIf marriage is about having children then why do we allow infertile people to get married? Funny, I don't see a strong christian opposition to infertile people "changing the biblical definition of marriage," like we do with same-sex couples wanting marriage euality. Also why don't the vows typically mention having children if this is what marriage is about? How are infertile couples different from same-sex couples in this instance?
First of all, the Catholic marriage liturgy does mention children. The couple must respond in the affirmative. If they are not open to children or the priest is not supposed to do the wedding. In the protestant church I was raised in the couple was not required to say they were open to children but the purposes of marriage were read. The first purpose was the propagation of the human race.
As to infertile couples, they are still man and woman. They are an imperfect man and woman. But the essence of man and the essence of woman is still represented in some way. Infertile couples sometimes surprise the doctors and convenience a child. We are cooperating with God's grace. We don't know what God will do.
We do need to provide the right ingredients for any sacrament. For confession you need a priest and a penitent. For Eucharist you need a priest and bread and wine and water. For Matrimony you need a priest or deacon and an unmarried man and an unmarried woman will to make vows. We can't just change the sacrament around. They are gifts of God. They are not ours to change.
Your true and only reason it that you believe in God and you believe God thinks contraceptives are wrong, so do you. All of your 50 reasons can be deducted to that.
ReplyDeleteI admit that I started there. I actually came to the conclusion that contraceptives were wrong before I became Catholic. So I wanted to do God's will but most people I knew thought contraceptives were OK in God's will. So it was not an obvious conclusion.
As I have lived this out I have come to see many reasons why it is right that I did not see before. Does that mean those observations don't count? Just because I was trying to live morally when I made the observations?
It's OK, you can have your opinion. It's great your wife shares your opinion so you can have a harmonious relationship (I assume she truly does and not just complies with your beliefs).
But don't blame the pill for all the wrong in the world because it is not. And a lot of what is wrong in your eyes is perfectly fine for others (like gay marriage, cause this is just a civil union or contract like civil marriage is, it has nothing to do with the sacrament that happens to carry the same name).
Many of your arguments are mere wishful thinking or living a myth. Specially the ones like "kids are always blessing, so are grandchildren" etc. - actually, they can be a real pain in the a**, pretty often. And if you have so many of them, you are not capable of having enough quality time with them, so you end up neglecting your children, or just paying attention with the more troubled one(s) and leaving the others with the feeling they're not loved enough.
Not all the observations are going to make sense to everyone. For some the gay marriage connection is convincing. For other it is not.
I don't blame contraception for all the worlds problems. Maybe 70-80% (just kidding). the point is we have messed with a pretty fundamental human thing and done it on a great scale with out doing any real thinking about the consequences. Well, they are everywhere and they are mostly negative. Excuse me for noticing.
And - I speak here as a European - many European are Muslim and it's nothing wrong. Many European nations are traditionally Muslim, like Bosniaks, Albanians or Turks, and it did not stopped them from being good people and part of the pan-European 'family'. And there is also nothing wring with immigration, as long as the integration policies work well. After all, USA is a country build by immigrants, isn't it?
And, funny enough, your argument is invalid if you dismiss the God-hypothesis.
I am actually pro-immigration. But you talk about integration. It is a challenge when done on a large scale. Actually it is harder when you don't have many native young people. Youth tend to be less xenophobic. So not enough children makes immigration necessary but it also makes it hard.
Not sure why you need a God hypothesis for this. Can't one see that losing European culture and ethnicity is a bad thing without believing in God?
And it's actually a reverse thing. See #47 - that's actually a reason for a non-Christian to WANT TO use contraceptives!
"16. It makes it harder for women to say No to sex. With premarital and extramarital sex the woman often would use potential pregnancy as an excuse. Now she has to say it is wrong or she does not want to. Both of those might be harder for her to defend."
ReplyDeleteWhy should a woman have to "defend" her reasons for not wanting to have sex? No means no, no matter the reason, no matter if she's saying no to a random man or her husband, she said no, you have to respect that... this is a very sexist remark, it's as though you're saying, "If she doesn't want to screw, she had better have a damn good reason".
"Kids are just amazingly beautiful. They are a source of so much grace and joy"
ReplyDeleteUmmm not when they are unwanted and born into homes that cannot support them and provide them with a standard of living.
"The least able to successfully use it are often the least able to parent as well. So the most children go to the worst parents."
ReplyDeleteI don't even know what this means. Based on your other numbers it seems like you want everyone to have children no matter what.
I am not sure how bad parenting correlates with an inability to effectively use birth control. I will have to tell my friend who forgot to take her pills and ended up with a son that you think she is a bad parent because that is how it happened!!
Gosh- i can't even read this whole thing. It would be funny if it wasn't soooo sad and ignorant. It really boils down to an uneducated view of human behavior. Probably based on rhetoric that the church has told you instead of reality
ReplyDeleteWhy should a woman have to "defend" her reasons for not wanting to have sex? No means no, no matter the reason, no matter if she's saying no to a random man or her husband, she said no, you have to respect that... this is a very sexist remark, it's as though you're saying, "If she doesn't want to screw, she had better have a damn good reason".
ReplyDeleteThat is what I am saying many women experience. If they want to date and not have sex in a contraceptive culture there is a "Why not?" type of reaction. I am actually saying it is a bad thing. But it is real. Sex is expected, especially for women. Many times they would have been grateful for a good reason to say No and their love life would have been much healthier.
When asked
DeleteWhy not" all she simply has to say is, "because I said so". No "excuses" need be made; it's rape culture that makes men think a woman should have to give a reason, not birth control.
Sure, I am just saying contraception has produced a rape culture. Not an acceptance of forcible rape but an acceptance of putting pressure on women and taking advantage shamelessly when they have a moment of weakness.
Delete"Kids are just amazingly beautiful. They are a source of so much grace and joy"
ReplyDeleteUmmm not when they are unwanted and born into homes that cannot support them and provide them with a standard of living.
Actually, Yes. Even then. Standard of living is way overrated at a path to a happy life. Wanted? Of course people should have sex responsibly, that is when they are ready to accept a child. Still a parent's wanting a child can swing wildly over the course of their childhood. How mush they are wanted prenatally is just not that big a predictor of anything.
I don't even know what this means. Based on your other numbers it seems like you want everyone to have children no matter what.
ReplyDeleteI am not sure how bad parenting correlates with an inability to effectively use birth control. I will have to tell my friend who forgot to take her pills and ended up with a son that you think she is a bad parent because that is how it happened!!
You can look at numbers. Teens have the highest failure rate. Poor teens even higher. Educated couples in stable marriages have low failure rates. Which couples could most benefit society by doing a good job of raising the next generation? It seems like a negative correlation to me.
You can't disprove a trend by quoting one counter-example. I don't know enough about your friend to know. But would it not be better for her to have child because of a positive choice to give herself to a man intimately rather than because she forgot to take pills?
I'm a gay man, and I'll gladly identify as that. Randy, I think that you have the wrong impression about a lot of these things. The bible has been interpreted in many ways throughout time. I think that the main thing to do is to preach love and not judge people. That's the main message I got when trying to understand it anyways. I think you are wrong about a lot of things, but I also think it is wrong that people are picking on you on here. The important thing to realize is that some of these things can be hurtful to others and I don't think that is ever right. Not just to homosexuals but to teenagers who choose to have sex regardless of who tells them that they should wait until they are ready. And maybe they are ready, that is their choice. But by being ready for sex, does not necessarily mean that they are ready for kids or a terminal illness that arises from sex with someone who has an Sti. I mean, finding someone to be with for the rest of your life sounds great even for me, but sometimes people don't find that on the first, second, third, etc try. Some other people might just not even want that. Some people may need to break up because of physical, emotional, etc abuse. Sometimes ideal pictures of our life don't turn out lthe way we want them to, and sometimes they do. Great for the people they do, but for the people they don't, I am not going to sacrafice their happiness for my own when I don't even know them.
ReplyDeleteThanks for commenting. I don't think people are picking on me. I know these ideas are not widely accepted today so I expect to be attacked. It is all good.
DeleteYou talk about sex and romantic relationships like they just happen to you and you don't really control much. I don't buy that. I think you can think about what is right and wrong and live it. You won't succeed all the time but you will do much better. Then there is the help God gives you.
You say "being ready for sex, does not necessarily mean that they are ready for kids." But what does being ready for sex mean? Modern society has no clue. Being ready for marriage is pretty easy to understand. If that is not the answer then sexual morality becomes unworkable just on the grounds of vagueness alone.
Gay people were born gay. Their is a lot, and I mean a lot of scientific evidence that supports that it is a natural occurrence. There are over 1500 species that it happens in including dolphins, chimps, penguins, etc. studies on females who have multiple sons have been shown to produce more antibodies fighting the male fetus in the womb as she has more boys causing feminization of the fetus. The list goes on and on. Also there are other ways to interpret sodom and gamorrah. When interpreting it, I found that "god" was more offended that the angels that he had sent to the city had been raped. It came down to people being terrible rather than some of them being gay. Now I'm sure there are gay rapists as there are straight rapists. That I do not agree with. This does not mean that all straight people are rapists, and it also does not mean that gay people are rapists.
ReplyDeleteIt does not actually matter if gay people were born gay. That is the politically correct opinion. I don't see it as based on science at all. It is just people believing what they want to believe. Still, it is irrelevant to the moral question. What you feel when interpreting the Sodom and Gomorrah story is not that relevant either. The Word of God is made up of scripture, tradition and the magisterium. It is not the bible alone. Christian tradition says firmly that homosexual acts are intrinsically disordered.
DeleteThis is not to been as a rejection of any person. Regardless of how someone becomes tempted towards homosexual acts that temptation does not define them. You very first words were "I'm a gay man" but you are more than your sexuality. Chastity prevents sex from becoming something that dominates us. We have desires that might find expression in marriage or might not. If they don't we can still live fulfilling lives. Society sees a life without sex as not worth living. It just is not true. God does not mess up. He has a path to holiness for you. That means love, joy and peace is possible at a deep level through obedience even of the hardest commands.
Very interesting input Randy.
ReplyDeleteI wish people were not licentious and promiscuous about sex. It is a gift from God, that is meant to make a married couple more holy.
God has giving us all a sex drive so we will reproduce and not die out, it is kind of like the hunger drive he gave us so we want starve. Like the hunger drive the longer you go with out eating any food , foods that you would not ever eat, start to look good to you, the same is all so with your sex drive, sex acts that you never would think of like homosexuality, or incest, or rape, etc... start to appeal to you. The Bible says that we can fast sexually as well as from food to devote ourself s to the Lord in prayer but only for a time so we wont be tempted by the flesh or satan, and this has to be a joint choice by a husband and wife to go on this sexual fast, not an forced fast by one party on the other, you must never not please your mate or use your body to gain control or black mail them, or punish them, for this is one of your primary martial duty's. For those who are not married the Bible says it is better to marry then to burn with passion, passion is what can get you in trouble, if you are a virgin then most of the time your sex drive is some what dormant, it depends on what your brain has been exposed to in your up bringing. Now about birth control, I believe that the Bible clearly says, who that will be born, are who that will not be born should be left up to God and is not our choice to make it is Gods choice. God has made nature ways of birth control, like when a woman can only get pregnant when she is ovulating, and she cant get pregnant while she is breast feeding her baby.Genesis 30:1-2 Says when Rachel saw that she was not bearing Jacob any children, she became jealous of her sister. So she said to Jacob,"Give me children, or ILL die! Jacob became angry with her and said, "Am I in the place of God,who has kept you from having children? We should not put are selves in Gods place.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comment Brian. Lots to think about.
Deletehilarious, but ridiculous
ReplyDeleteThis is one of the useful facts on abortion
ReplyDeleteI'm not even sure I agree with you about the central point, but many of your statements seem quite true (and obviously so). The insanely visceral reactions of so many people to this indicate you're really touched a sacred cow.
ReplyDeleteIf I were still Catholic I'd be horrified at the thought of anyone having a child for fear that the child could end up in Hell, and possibly their won children could end up in Hell, grandchildren, etc.
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